


Whit’s Fur Ye’ll No Go Past Ye

by vikingeggs



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Asexual Merlin, Background Roxy Morton | Lancelot/Tilde, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, Graphic Description, Grinding, Harry Hart's Family, Illnesses, Lots of kissing, M/M, Minor Injuries, Oh look a fanfic by me that has a story that isn't a complete au, Serious Injuries, Smut, Touching, Trans Female Character, also this is pretty divergent from the show, because i wanna incorporate the golden circle in this fic, but there MIGHT be romance if i feel it, everything is eventual i'm sorry, harry's survival is complicated, i dunno, mayyyyybe, my boy merlin is gonna be ace, no sex for my tech boy no sir-ee, oh yeah and roxy/tilde is gonna be a thing, the villianess is a bitch, there's a certain someone who's secretly a statesman oops, yeah hey quick spoiler there for ya
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2019-01-08 21:11:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12262167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vikingeggs/pseuds/vikingeggs
Summary: never updates - abandoned ficA familiar Scottish brogue rang through their ears at the sound of a commercial."Hello. My name is Elizabeth Mary MacLeod. You may recognize me from many things, but most noteworthy my  'Witch of Alloa' program, which aims to help convert those of us searching for enlightenment to my ways of morality and thought. You may be thinking 'oh, but Miss MacLeod! My mum and dad would never allow me to convert to such a thing as witchcraft! They believe it is evil and only for Devil worshipers'! Well to that I say their opinion is bollocks, dearie, and a good way to convince them they're incorrect is this elixir right here I like to call Mind Me Right™! It will render any other person of your choice unconscious for a good 24 hours so you can come to my doorstep so I may welcome you with open arms! After all, everyone will be equal in my home, and soon the whole world... Just as you could hope and dream."The broadcast shuts off and another ad comes on TV. Eggsy and Harry looked at each other.Shit.~~~For those who don't know what the title is: It's a Scottish saying. "Whit's fur ye'll no go past ye." is 'whatever is meant to happen to you, will happen to you.'





	Whit’s Fur Ye’ll No Go Past Ye

**Author's Note:**

  * For [writehandman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/writehandman/gifts).



> THIS FIC IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE FOR A PROPER READ. IT WILL NOT BE UPDATED. IT WILL NOT BE FINISHED.THERE WILL BE A RE-WRITE AVAILABLE AT A LATER TIME. THIS IS ALSO NOT THE FULL CHAPTER OF THIS FIC.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is that-?”
> 
> “A political and international influence of power, such as the Vice President of the United States.” Just barely, Eggsy could see the outline of Elizabeth’s smile grow wider, “Ms. Amelia Harkness here is my demonstration piece…”
> 
> Before she could do anything the video suddenly shuts off and the three agents were left in shock, wondering if anything happened.
> 
> “She’s a bloody madwoman.” Roxy slowly piped up, dumbfounded by the video, “Do we know if Miss Harkness is still alive?”

Another day of being called in when he wasn’t supposed to be working. Fantastic, right? He couldn’t exactly blame Merlin for doing so, though. They were running low on agents and struggling to find a replacement for Arthur. For the time being, Merlin was in said spot, but Eggsy couldn’t help but wonder if they would ever find a proper replacement, or if they should just shove Merlin in Arthur’s spot as the official leader. Merlin wouldn’t be too happy about it, but Eggsy personally thought he would take up the spot perfectly.

As Eggsy made his way into the tailor shop, he nodded his head respectfully at the man at the front desk, receiving a smile and a soft, “Merlin has been waiting for you in the dining hall, Galahad.”

“Thanks. Much appreciated.” He says, making his way up the stairs behind him and towards the doorway of the dining hall. As he opens the door, he can hear voices on the other side discussing something along the lines of a mission that Roxy, well actually Lancelot, had been on. He could make out three voices. Merlin, Roxy, and a mysterious third. As he opens the door, he can hear Merlin acknowledge him.

“Ah perfect. Just the man we were waiting for.”

“Who?” The unfamiliar voice asked.

Eggsy furrows his brow when he walks in, looking at the three of them. Merlin was standing up, tablet and clipboard in hand. At the table sat Roxy, and across from her was a young man with auburn hair. Well, not young, seeing as he was at least in his early 30s maybe late 20s, but he was certainly younger than Merlin.

“Galahad, this is Bartholomew. Bartholomew is the new Gareth… He exceeded in all tests Roxy and I put him through.”

“It’s a pleasure,” Bartholomew says, smiling at him. “I look forward to working with you, and the rest of Kingsman.” This guy is a bit friendly for someone who probably went through some shitty things to be in this position, but he couldn’t blame him for trying to be nice.

Eggsy made his way over, pulling out a chair across the way and leaning over the table to shake his hand before taking a seat. “Pleasure’s all mine, bruv. Where you from?”

“Cardiff, Wales. It took me quite some time to travel here to London when I moved here since I walked, but I think I’ve been enjoying the stay so far. I’m lucky Roxy- ah… Lancelot brought me in as a recruit for Kingsman. I haven’t exactly been well off until she came along.” He smiled sheepishly and Eggsy looked at Roxy, who in turn smiled at him. “She’s a saint. Gods bless her.” Bartholomew says.

“She certainly is… But don’t say it out loud, you just _might_ inflate her ego.” Eggsy teased, receiving an annoyed jab in the side with Roxy’s elbow.

“Ignore him. He’s just-”

Merlin clears his throat loudly, looking at the three of them with a mildly annoyed, but fond look. “Now that the three of you are acquainted, I’d like to talk to you about this mission I have for you… All three of you.” He says, emphasizing the fact it was meant for all of them with a gesture.

Eggsy sits up straighter. “Yeah? What is it then?”

Merlin looks at Bartholomew. “Glasses please, Gareth.”

Bartholomew fumbles to get the pair on and looks up at Merlin, who then turns to the screen behind him, opening a file on it with his tablet

“This is Elizabeth Mary MacLeod, better known by her customers as the Priestess Witch of Alloa.” He pulls up the image of a pretty brunet woman wearing a completely black suit-dress aside from a pearl necklace and earrings, accompanied by dark makeup. For some reason, this girl was very off-putting to Eggsy and made his skin sort of crawl. “She’s the wealthy owner of a company called Only Local, which sells an array of herbs, spices, stones, and such directed towards the population of the UK that practices witchcraft. I’m sure you’ve seen the logo before since one of her little shops are located on this very street.” He brings up a small map of the street and circles the Kingsman tailor shop and the Only Local shop in red. It turns out that it’s across the street about six shops away. Well, her practicing witchcraft certainly was the part of her that really gave Eggsy and unsettled feeling, but it wasn’t like he believed in that sort of thing.

“Oh yes! I’ve actually met her a few times- very lovely woman, actually.” Bartholomew suddenly piped up, “Her customer service is exquisite. I regularly purchase things from her business, both on the web and in store.”

Eggsy looks at him with mild distaste. “Really?”

Bartholomew frowned, “What? There’s nothin’ wrong with a bit of religious freedom, mate. Voodoo’s the only thing left from my roots that I still follow along with.”

Eggsy raised an eyebrow at him and Roxy jabbed his side again with his elbow. “Eggsy, be polite…”


End file.
